How To Ground So We Can Grow - Celebrating the Spring Equinox

Kaitlyn Rose

15 Mar, 2024

The Spring Equinox, the time of year that day and night are in equilibrium, marks the start of more sunlight, warmer weather, and earthly growth. Spring brings to mind planting flowers, picnics in the park, early morning walks. This time of year can be a great opportunity to reset, reevaluate that which we’d like to cultivate in the coming season, and practice gratitude for the buds and sprouts that pop through the surface.

The Seasonal Reset

As you move into this new season, it may be effective to analyze what has been working for you and what may not serve you going forward (the two are not mutually exclusive, but I’ll get into that in a moment). This is not a time to shame yourself for falling off a resolution. It’s a time to gently look at your life and notice the things that make you feel grounded and whole, the things that may cause anxiety, stress, suffering, and the things that may have served you for a time, but need tweaking. These lists can be as long or as short as you’d like. They can be separated into categories, or not. Whatever works for you to take a few moments to be mindful of your practices and what makes you feel more at home in your life.

Example: Lets take movement. For me, I almost always feel better with regular movement. While I have been spending a lot of time in the gym during the colder months, these last few days of warmth and sunshine have allowed me to spend time walking outside. Is it as intense of a workout? No. But it makes me feel lighter, it gives me the fresh air I desperately need, and it makes me fall in love with the town I live in that much more.

But while I love my outdoor walks, I don’t want to totally give up on my weight training practice. I will consider tweaking this practice by switching from going to the gym 3-4 times a week to maybe only going 2 times a week and spending that time outside on the days that the weather allows.

Another way to start your list is to simply write down the things in your life you love to do. The things that fill your cup and make you feel more grounded. For me these are things like cooking, journalling, hiking, being with my family, quality time with my husband, and practicing yoga. Before I even think about what my life should look like, I will prioritize fitting these things in. Can I save one new recipe to try for dinner per week? Can I schedule in one longer hike per month? Can I make family time a priority, inviting them to do these things with me? Can I schedule out my yoga classes in advance so I don’t skip them due to lack of motivation?

Make your list and see where your grounding practices can fit in your life. Make them manageable but make them a priority. When you show up for yourself, you may find your cup so full, you can share it with the other people in your life.

Plant Your Seeds and Water Them Well

What are you looking to cultivate in the coming season? It can be related to the last prompt, or maybe it’s something else entirely. Do you want to try something new? Learn a new skill? Is there a project you put aside that, in the back of your mind, you always wanted to come back to? Right now, spend two minutes in silence, set a timer if you’d like, and notice where your mind goes. If judgmental thoughts arise, acknowledge them and send them on their way.

Do you have an idea? It’s okay if you don’t; you can come back to it at a later time. Let’s take the example of planting a vegetable garden from seed. As a tried and true garden-killer, I can attest that it is not as easy as poking some seeds into dirt and waiting for the fruit. On the back of those seed packets, they tell you the optimal time to plant, the amount of water and sunlight needed to grow, and even then it can take months to see any blip of a recognizable vegetable growing. This is not to discourage you, but encourage you.

We all start from somewhere. For me, horticulture is not my thing. But you know what is? Writing. I have written two books and I can tell you first hand that they would not have gotten to the publishing phase if I didn’t take the time and effort to take them from idea to novel. Sometimes writing feels like growing a basil plant. You put it in the ground and a week later, its tripled in size and you have pesto for days. My first book was like this. The ideas kept coming and I wrote almost every day. With my second book, it took a bit longer, I wanted to put more of myself, more heart into the pages and so the pruning and watering had to be timed out a bit more carefully. I’m working on a third book and lately it feels like I’m trying to grow tomatoes in the desert. It’s a historical fiction spanning across several decades in a few different locations. It requires a lot more research and attention to detail than my previous two works.

So, rather than throwing in the towel and deciding it’s too hard, I’m going to make sure the soil is well-kept, the sunlight is right, and maybe most importantly, I get outside and water it regularly. I can’t expect my book to suddenly come to me one day; I need to put in the work. Though a plant doesn’t bloom overnight, with the right care, the fruit of my labor will, one day, be oh so rewarding. I know from past experience, the more I sit down and write, discuss ideas, and spend with my characters, the more productive I become. And next time I sit down with an idea for book #4, I won’t have to look at the instructions on the back of the seed pocket. I will know what it takes to make flowers bloom.

Let the Sun Shine & Find Gratitude in Simplicity

As I sit here writing, I have the windows open. The sun is shining. I’ve spent several hours over the last couple of days outside. I find so much gratitude for the returning of Spring. How amazing is it that something that costs nothing — fresh air and the outdoors — can bring such automatic joy?

In the same journal or same piece of paper you used before, jot down some things that make you grateful in this new season. If you choose to do so, add to this list each day. That way, when winter rolls around again, you have something to refer back to, to make you excited for what’s to come!

I’ve written before about the negative effects the darker, colder months of winter has on me and many other people. While in my last seasonal post, where I wrote about finding peace in slowing down, I encourage you to take the energy you feel as the warmer weather makes its way back, and run with it! (Literally go for a run, if that’s your thing!) The sky is the limit.

This season is about grounding, but it’s also about growth! Where in your life can you find room to grow toward the light, to the things that make you whole and feel grateful?

Leave a comment below with what you’ll be focusing on this season.

Embracing the Divine Feminine: A Celebration of Strength, Wisdom, and Your Inner Child on International Women's Day

Kaitlyn Rose

8 Mar, 2024

If you are in the yoga or spiritual space, you may have heard the phrase “divine feminine” or “feminine energy” thrown around. But what does it mean, and how can we tap into it?

First I’ll bust a myth: divine feminine doesn’t just exist for those who identify as women. Feminine and masculine energies exist in all humans. The divine feminine encompasses intuition, empathy and compassion, creativity, and nurturing. While some of these may be more present inside you than others, all work together.

Today is International Women’s Day, about a week into Women’s History Month. When I think of these things, the first thing that comes to mind are the strong figures: the Rosa Parks, the Amelia Earhearts, the Michelle Obamas. But that’s not what this day is about, not entirely. This day is for all the women: the ones seen and unseen, the ones loud and disruptive and the ones who thrive in silence. It’s for ordinary women as much as it is extraordinary. So how do you, as an extraordinary ordinary women, tap into your divine feminine today? In this moment, even.

Intuition is that feeling in your gut that tells you to do something. Don’t go down that street today, wake up in the middle of the night to check on your child, steer clear of that person looking at you, offer a kind word to that person who looks like they’re struggling. Scientifically speaking, intuition is the ability of the mind to quickly search through the library of past experience and knowledge to unconsciously come to a conclusion. For women, this can be a very powerful tool. However, society has told us to second guess our feelings, to ignore our intuition. We may be told we’re being illogical, irrational, crazy, in some cases. But intuition is what pulls us toward what is meant for us and away from what will cause us harm. Be bold and listen to what your gut is telling you.

How to get started: start listening and feeling. There’s a reason it’s called a “gut instinct”. For some people, they may feel that pit in their stomach when danger is present. The body responds to the situation, an evolutionary response that says “get out now”. Some may start to sweat, exhibiting anxiety-like symptoms.

But intuition isn’t just about avoiding danger. It’s also about growing towards the light. Intuition may come into play when you’re, say, looking for a new house. I’ll use an example from my own life. Four years ago, in the midst of the pandemic, my then boyfriend, now husband and I were apartment hunting. We looked at several prior only to be met with disappointment. As soon as we stepped into the garage apartment that would become our new home, both of use felt that gut feeling that this was it. We signed the papers the next day and soon after moved into the place we’ve lived ever since. We didn’t stop to notice: did this place have closets? Did it even have a bathroom? It may have seemed like we were foolish for not doing even the most basic of inspections, but something called to us and we knew it was the right choice. And yes, it does in fact, have a bathroom.

Empathy & compassion go hand in hand but aren’t the same thing. Empathy is the experience of relating to and understanding another person’s emotions. Compassion is caring for someone regardless of if you understand how they’re feeling. How can we harness this and make it work from a self-care lens?

Focusing on ourselves and our own problems and emotions is very important, but it can sometimes be hindering. For example, if I am working at a coffee shop (something I have a lot of experience in) and someone comes in and returns my “Hi, how are you?” with “Large coffee, cream and sugar,” instead of the polite “I’m [insert emotion], how are you?”, I can have one of two reactions. In one scenario, I may take offense their comment. How dare they not ask me how I am? I am a person, too, not just a servant. Believe me, I have had that emotional response many a time. But what good does that reaction have? How can I be empathetic and compassionate instead, so we both have a better day going forward? I can imagine what led this person to giving me such a quick response. Maybe they were up all night with a sick baby. Maybe they lost a loved one. Maybe someone cut them off in traffic and made them miss the train. Maybe this large coffee with cream and sugar is the thing that is going to take their day from gray to okay! How wonderful would it be to be a part of that? So, rather than coming back with an equally cold response of “It’s $3.50”, I could give them a kind word or draw a smiley face on their cup and wish them a good day. Then, I can go on feeling like I’ve made a difference in someone’s day rather than holding on to the negativity of one person and maybe spreading it to the next person who comes into the shop.

You might be rolling your eyes at this. It’s cheesy, I know. And it’s easier said than done. But the world could use a little cheesiness. Be a part of the cheesiness. Compassion and empathy aren’t just reserved for those you love. Spread them around.

I love this one: creativity. It brings to mind childhood. But isn’t that silly, that in my mind, only children can be creative? If we think of it in its definition, creativity stems from the verb create. The divine feminine is the right to create. Create life. Create art. Create community. What can you spend twenty minutes creating today?

Some of my favorite easy forms of creativity are:

Singing (creating playlists that make me want to belt is my favorite)
Cooking
Writing fiction

You can choose from this list, or think up your own! While I tend to do these the most, I am fascinated by art and would love to create in that fashion in the future. I have this idea of getting a bunch of paints and finger painting something. Even if I throw it out when I’m done. So maybe bringing it back to the joys of childhood isn’t such a bad thing. Maybe, in this way, embracing the divine feminine is embracing your inner child.

I don’t think I’m alone in associating nurturing with motherhood. I picture a swaddled baby in a mother’s arms, rocking in a rocking chair in a dimly lit room. A quick search of Oxford’s dictionary tells me that to nurture is: “to care for and encourage the growth or development of”. Nurturing is a lifelong experience, both inwardly and outwardly.

This is a blog about self-care, after all, so let’s explore how we nurture ourselves! Sometimes with gentle hands and softness: bubble baths and mornings slept in, ice cream and manicures. But based on the definition, we must also encourage growth and development. Self-care isn’t always easy. Sometimes it means getting up on a Saturday to clean your house. It means spending time moving your body. It means making sure your pantry and fridge are stocked with health-promoting foods. Like the mother taking care of their child, we know what is best and what will help us grow.

Take out a piece of paper and write down three habits you have that are nurturing. For me, these are:

Regular sleep schedule (at least 7 hours a night)
Regular movement I enjoy (at least 3x/week)
Daily journaling (mostly brain dumps/stream of consciousness)

Now below that, write three habits you have that are not nurturing. For me, these are:

Doom scrolling more often than I’d like to admit
Negative self-talk
Self-isolation

Maybe some of these resonate with you or maybe your three are completely different. Do not use this exercise to judge yourself. The purposes is to figure out how you can be both mother and baby. If your child were to be scrolling on their phone all afternoon, would you throw the phone on the ground and yell at them to go outside? Probably not, but you probably would encourage them to take a break and do something else. If you heard your child saying bad things about themselves and comparing themselves to others, would you agree with them and tell them they better shape up? Of course you wouldn’t, you would remind them how special they are and probably list off some qualities that make them that way. If your child didn’t spend time with friends and spent most of their time alone, would you call them a loser? I sure hope not! You would get to the root cause of the isolation and see if there are steps to take toward spending more time with others.

I urge you to tap into your feminine energy today. To not shy away from your intuition, your empathy, your creativity, and your ability to nurture. Embrace them to your fullest ability and watch how your light grows. I wish you the happiest of International Women’s Days and a wonderful Women’s History month and remember that your femininity is your strength. Don’t be afraid to flex it.

Gratitude Unleashed: Creating your dream life through the power of appreciation

Kaitlyn Rose

1 Mar, 2024

We all have big dreams, bucket lists, things we’ll accomplish “when…”. What if I told you those things can be in reach and the only thing in your way is you?

I have a picture in my head of what I want my future to look like. Best-selling author, making a living teaching yoga on the internet, guiding people toward self love, self care, self acceptance. But when I look at social media, I’m constantly comparing my life to those who seem to have it all together. They have a beautifully blank room with lively plants where they can teach yoga without distraction to the eye. They have kitchens with marble countertops and butcher-block cutting boards and perfectly lit space. I envied these people and told myself I would be like them when I have a house that can accommodate all those things.

But what I was doing was postponing my dreams. I was telling myself I don’t have enough or the right “stuff” to make what I have to offer worth something to the world. My apartment is too small and cluttered, my workout clothes don’t make my body look just right, my idea for my novel isn’t solidified so I shouldn’t even start. Why bother?

I’m ready to bother. I’m ready to take what I have and make it work for me. So, I can take my small apartment and tell myself it’s not good enough, or I can accept that most people don’t have a designated filming space and might appreciate the realness of where I’m at. I can take my creativity in the kitchen and let that shine through even if my air-fryer is in the background of every chopping shot. I can sit down and write whatever is in my head and worry about curating it later. Because by not starting, I’m never going to get where I want to go.

I want to talk about gratitude. Because believing that I have everything I need already at my disposal and being grateful for that will make the creation of the yoga sequences, the novels, the meals all that more satisfying and compelling. I’ve spent so much time afraid of putting something imperfect out into the world, that it’s stopped me from creating anything at all. What good is that doing me?

I am going to create a gratitude practice for myself this month, and I hope you’ll join me. It’s going to be very intentional and relevant to what I’m hoping to accomplish with my time. I want to film a yoga video today? Great! How can I show gratitude for my body, for the space I can move in, for the opportunity to learn about video and sound editing? I’m going to sit down and write all day? Amazing! How can I show gratitude for the time I have to do so, for the equipment I have at my disposal to research and develop the story, for the gift I’ve been given?

What is it you’re stopping yourself from accomplishing? It doesn’t have something to be as grand as my goals are. Maybe you really want to try to cook something but you’re used to making pre-packaged meals. Maybe you want to try a dance class but you’re afraid of how you might look. Maybe you want to wear that dress that you put in the back of your closet for a special occasion. Where can you find gratitude in this moments to step out of your comfort zone and make them happen!

Follow along with my journey at @feel.the.prana on Instagram and kaitymcb on TikTok!

Go Date Yourself: 5 ideas for getting to know yourself a little better and treating yourself with love

Kaitlyn Rose

11 Feb, 2024

While it’s appropo to have a “dating” themed-blog in February when the heart-shaped chocolates and bouquets of roses are plentiful, I am a firm believer in dating yourself, always. I myself am an introvert and when I spend a day focusing on me, myself, and I, I not only feel rejuvenated, I feel a little bit more in love with myself.

Self-love is a lifelong journey. Like any relationships, our feelings towards ourselves will ebb and flow. Stressful seasons may lead to periods of self-doubt, even self-hatred. But guess what? We are stuck with ourselves forever. So, say you’re sorry, buy a bouquet of flowers, and re-spark the magic.

February, Valentine’s Day in particular, can lead to some hard feelings. I know I spent many years jealous, seeing my friends receive flowers on February 14 with loving posts on Instagram. To that version of myself, I would give this advice: go date yourself. Make yourself feel special. Get dressed up or dressed down. Buy yourself your own damn flowers. Not sure where to get started? I’ll help you out there.

Go To The Movies

Going to the movie theater is a solo activity. Whoever decided it was a date idea did not want to talk to their partner that night. Okay, maybe that’s a bit harsh, but if you think about it, sitting in a dark room for three hours can be done with one, two, or ten people and the experience is more or less the same.

Let me paint a picture: it’s 2 PM on a Saturday. You’ve slept in, you’ve made yourself a nice breakfast, you haven’t gotten out of your sweatpants. You feel like you should get out of the house but the urge to go back to bed is strong.

But then you remember a movie you’ve been seeing trailers for all over TikTok. It’s playing at 2:30. No need to get dressed. Just brush your teeth, maybe throw your hair up in a messy bun or put a cozy hat on, and get out the door, but not without grabbing a throw blanket off the back of the couch.

You roll up to the concession stand with a $20 and go nuts. Get the big popcorn, get the large soda (but prepare for pee breaks because movies are 3 hours these days), indulge in the Bunch-a-Crunch if your heart so desires.

Find your reclining movie theater chair and settle in just as the trailers are starting. Take off your shoes (only if you have socks on), cover up with your blanket, and relax. The theater is dark, you are free, and Nicole Kidman is about to tell you that you’ve come to this place for magic. Abracadabra, enjoy your afternoon date.

Make Yourself the Star of Your Own Movie

Have you ever experienced the sensation of walking around a museum or a book store by yourself? The room is quiet. There is no pressure to rush. You are just browsing, admiring, taking it all in. Whenever I have these moments, I am drawn to the graceful, almost cinematic parts of myself. The slight tilt of the head to read a book title. The stillness of staring at at a beautiful piece of art. The focus is on what’s in front of you, but it’s also on you. Your senses, your reaction. When the setting is romantic, it is so much easier to romanticize yourself.

Look in your area, or a little outside your area if you’re interested in a day trip, for museums, sculpture gardens, planetariums, or botanical gardens. Plan to be there for an extended period of time, if you can. The ability to take things at a leisurely pace will allow you to take in the beauty or the history before you. Pick out an outfit that makes you feel put together. Think main character energy. (For inspiration, watch a Nora Ephron movie.)

Take photos if you’d like. Don’t be afraid to ask a stranger to take a photo of you. Remember, you’re the main character. Find a way to make this a memory.

Get Crafty!

If you ever feel like you’re in a rut of “Work. Eat. TV.”, this one is for you! Not only is this a great solo-date idea, it’s a great way to find a new hobby! Research in your area for community classes — cooking, crafting (I recently took an Art Journaling class), dancing, you name it. The park system in my county has a great number of offerings throughout the year and it’s been so fun exploring different things.

And let me tell you, you do not need to be good at something to try it. As a matter of fact, it may be more fun to try something you’ve never done before just because sounds interesting! I have a memory as a child of my aunt taking me to a taffy making class. I couldn’t tell you now how to make taffy or that I even enjoy eating taffy, but the memory is a good one because it was something different.

If you’re short on money or time, look up some tutorials online and buy the supplies for yourself at home! But I would urge you to schedule out the time for your newfound hobby. It’s easy to fall into the habit of falling onto the couch and watching TV or scrolling social media after a long day. And sometimes you need that. But if you’re feeling like you want something new, schedule it in and just try it!

Live Large and Eat Well

Have you had your eye on the new steak house or sushi spot in town but you’re waiting for an occasion to go? Consider this your occasion. We’re keeping that main character energy and running with it.

Put on something a little dressier than normal. Put on make up if you’d like, do your hair. Get ready for your date. Drive yourself or take an Uber to the restaurant. Ask for a table for one. I know it may feel uncomfortable. But believe me, no one cares. If it makes you feel more at ease, sit at the bar and strike up a conversation with the bartender or other patrons. I’ve done a lot of solo traveling and some very interesting and memorable nights can come from talking with strangers at the bar.

Order yourself what you want. Not what you think you should order. Not what you always order. Order what you want. If that means the filet mignon, order the filet mignon. Doggie bags exist for a reason if you don’t finish. Resist the urge to take out your phone. It would be rude to take out your phone on a date. You deserve to pay attention to yourself, not whatever’s happening on Instagram. Enjoy your food and drink.

Notice how you’re feeling. Are you uncomfortable? Are you enjoying yourself? There are no wrong answers. This practice can be very difficult because it’s unnatural and new. But like sitting in a darkened movie theater, you can enjoy yourself all on your own.

If you find your mind is spiraling, ask yourself some questions. Get to know yourself. Meet yourself with your best foot forward. That’s what we do on first dates, right? What were you like as a kid? What are your values? Where do you hope to be in 5 years?

When the mental conversation gets slow, enjoy your food. Take slow bites. This is not a quick dinner in front of the television. This meal was made to make you have a truly amazing night. Use the senses to embrace your experience. Smell the aromas of the restaurant. Notice artistic elements in the design. Listen to the chatter of the tables around you.

Get clean and get cozy!

There’s a tried and true picture when we think of “self-care”, is there not? Fluffy bathrobe, a face mask, and a glass of wine. This solo-date idea is two fold: 1. DIY Spa and 2. Movie Night.

In preparation, pick up a sheet mask from Target, maybe some bubble bath, and a new nail polish (or use what you have at home). Light candles in your bathroom, play some spa music or anything you find enjoyable (I have been known to blast show tunes and sing while in the bath tub). Apply your face mask and grab a book to read while you soak. When you feel like a prune or the water gets cold, exfoliate your body. Rinse off in the shower and put on the comfiest clothes you own. The big sweatpants, the worn-in hoodie, fuzzy socks, the works.

Order your dinner and get cozy on the couch. If you have popcorn or other snacks you’d like to munch on during the movie, have those handy as well. If you’re not sure what to watch, check out some of my favorites:

When Harry Met Sally
You’ve Got Mail
10 Things I Hate About You
Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants
Now and Then
The Wedding Singer
Can’t Hardly Wait

If you take nothing else away from this blog, spend some time this week with yourself. Do something that makes you feel special, feel cozy, feel a little more in love with yourself. If none of my suggestions ring true to you, take 10 minutes and journal on what you need; on what would make you feel more like the main character in your own story.

Goal-Getter Roadmap: Tracking progress & toasting to triumphs!

Kaitlyn Rose

31 Jan, 2024

Congratulations! You made it one through the first month of 2024. How are you feeling? Did this month drag on forever? How have you progressed in the goals you set for yourself four weeks ago? Not sure? I’ll help you out there.

The end of the month is a great time to assess. If you are looking to make some changes and grow this year, as I am, four weeks isn’t necessarily enough time to see a ton of change. If you gave up drinking, you may just be noticing you’re sleeping a bit better. If you decided to go to the gym more, you may see a small energy uptick during your work outs. But more than likely, you still feel like you’re building the habit.

It is a common misconception that it takes 21 days to build a habit. According to James Clear, author of Atomic Habits, it takes a minimum of 21 days to get used to a new habit. Notice the difference in language there. (A 2009 study at University College London actually found the average is about 66 days.) The example Clear uses is from a study in the 1950’s where amputees would sense a phantom limb for a minimum of 21 days before the got used to the new normal. Another study showed that people receiving a cosmetic surgery, like a nose job, took about 21 days to get used to their “new” face. [More on this here.]

While most habits don’t have the concrete and distinctive change of reconstructive surgery, that is, it’s harder to measure the change, part of the work of habit setting is believing you are the person who behaves in a certain way.

Change your identity

Say you had a habit of drinking 3-5 nights a week. When you decide that you don’t want to drink this month, there are a couple of ways it can go. You can say you’re doing “Dry January” and count down the days until February 1. There is no judgement in that. Taking a break from drinking alcohol in any capacity is always good for you. However, if you establish your “why” behind the break, you may start to believe you are a person who doesn’t drink 3-5 nights a week. If your why is “because I want to drink less long term” and don’t set February 1 as your “end date”, you might find that your craving for alcohol lessens because you are no longer a person who identifies as someone who drinks frequently. Instead of going on a bender the first weekend in February, you’re more likely to keep up with moderation, or abstinence all together, if you so choose. (Disclaimer: This example may not apply to someone with an alcohol addiction.)

Measure it out

Another way to stick to your goals is to measure change. My goal for the new year was to stick to a consistent workout routine. First, I established my “why”: I want to build the habit of working out regularly so that my bones and muscles remain strong as I age. (In other words, so Old Lady Kaity can hike and go camping and go to the bathroom on her own.) But with such a far off goal, it can be hard to remain consistent now. Because there’s always next month, next year. I’m not old yet.

The way I choose to measure my fitness is consistency. My goal number is 3 workouts per week. Sometimes I do more than 3 but I know that even when I have a busy week, I am almost always able to get in some sort of movement 3 times. Sometimes that looks like a half hour on my walking pad, other times it’s an hour long session at the gym or a hot yoga class. All of these count as “1”, regardless of how many calories I burn or how intense the workout is. All of these things are building the habit.

Analyze and assess

I also have a journaling practice. My journal tends to be rather “brain-dumpy”, but I like to make note of any progress in my goals, or regression, and why that might be. For example, on Sunday, I spent over an hour at the gym. I did a full upper-body workout and ended with an inclined walk. While normally I would feel worn out by the end of my workout, I ended my walk with a few minutes of jogging. When I look at the days leading up to this workout, I worked out consistently the week before. I got a great night’s sleep. I ate well the day before and a high-carb breakfast the day of. I wasn’t rushed in my workout (that is, I had most of the day open.) These are all tools I can take with me to make consistency more of a habit and provide insight when fitting in workout seems impossible.

If I spend an extra hour scrolling social media before bed, I will sleep poorly. If I eat foods that don’t agree with me or drink alcohol, I will feel lethargic the next day. If I am trying to squeeze in a high-intensity workout on a day where my scheduled is packed, I will feel rushed and be more likely to skip my workout all together. All of these are excuses to skip my workout, to be inconsistent. But I know I feel better when I move my body. So how do I convince myself to get up and go when I don’t feel 100%?

Treat yo self.

Rewards. Sometimes the anticipated endorphin rush after a workout just doesn’t cut it. Planning out rewards and celebrating wins is a great way to keep the habit going. If I get all three workouts in in a week, I will reward myself with a new face mask and bubble bath to help my muscles recover. If I complete a whole month of workouts, I will reward myself with a new workout outfit. If I really don’t want to get up, but I’ve booked myself into a workout class, I will amp myself by stopping for my favorite cold brew coffee on the way in. Eventually, the habit may be the reward in itself. Ending my workout with a run made me feel so strong. That feeling is pushing me toward the rest of my workouts this week.

Celebrating your wins doesn’t always have to mean buying yourself something. In an ideal world, you’ll be crushing your goals and a reward every time or every few times will get pretty expensive. Celebrate in a simpler way. Share your wins with your friends, your family, even the front desk person at the gym. I have worked at the front desk in a yoga studio and hearing from a member that they were able to get a pose they were working on or that they’re proud of themselves for taking so many classes that week is not only heartwarming, it’s motivational!

Think about where you were a month ago. Remember that motivation, that drive you felt stepping into the new year. We are about to enter a new month. Remember your goals, make adjustments as needed, and keep going. You got this!

Making Mealtime Easy: How to fill your plate when there's too much on your plate

Kaitlyn Rose

24 Jan, 2024

Decision fatigue is real. According to a study at University of Leicester, adults make an upwards of 35,000 decisions every day. I’m exhausted just thinking about that. So when mealtimes come along, whether you’re preparing for your family or just yourself, why not make it a little bit easier?

If you’re like me, creating satiating, hearty meals is very important. Working with an intuitive eating dietian (Vickie at Happy Strong Healthy, 10/10, would recommend), I’ve learned that the days where I skip a high-protein breakfast are the days where I’m snacking non-stop and rarely feel satisfied. Making sure I get at least 30 grams of protein first thing makes me not only feel alert and focused in the morning, it also makes me able to make more conscious, health-promoting decisions throughout the day.

I have a few breakfast staples in my arsenal that almost always sound good: eggs and bacon or a protein shake is something I usually have on hand. But for the other meals and snacks of the day, I tend to wait until I’m famished and then grab for whatever is easy. I’m trying to get away from that.

So, I’ve taken what I’ve learned so far about nutrition and applied it to a four (or less) step process for planning out mealtime. Those steps are carbs, proteins, fat, and color (fruits & veggies). When I’m planning out my grocery list for the week, I’ll make sure to have some of each on hand so that building a satisfying meal takes four choices, rather than forty.

I took the lead from a registered dietitian I follow on TikTok named Taylor Grasso in meal creation. She uses these four categories to build nutritious and satiating meals. I created these graphics, and the power of association to make these decision easier.

Start with a carb. If an english muffin strikes my fancy, I’m thinking an egg sandwich, a turkey burger, or chicken salad. That takes care of the protein. Then I’m looking at fats. All three of these go great with avocado! Then I’m looking for color. I could get some leafy greens to add to any of these sandwiches and I can get some berries or grapes to eat with them.

So now I’ll build my grocery list:

With just those six ingredients, I can make three different meals. The decision fatigue is removed when it comes to mealtime and I can expect to feel full and satisfied.

One more example: let’s take dinner time. I’ll choose rice as the carb. When I think of rice I think risotto or Asian cuisine. For the risotto, I find that shell-fish goes best. Let’s pick shrimp. Now onto fats, we’ll add cheese and cream to the risotto. For color, we’ll add some roasted asparagus. If I’m feeling more like Asian cuisine, I’ll take my rice and turn it into fried rice. I can take that same shrimp and turn it into Teriyaki shrimp and add an egg to the rice for a bit more flavor. Fried rice is extremely versatile. My favorite veggies to add are onions, edamame, and carrots. Top your rice with the pan-fried shrimp and you have yourself a meal!

Now to build our grocery list.

You now have two meals, and potentially leftovers, to enjoy throughout the week!

I don’t know about you, but I love to snack. But without considering the things that will provide the best energy, snacking might feel fruitless (pun intended) because you’re hungry again an hour later despite eating half a bag of tortilla chips and salsa.

Let’s go back to my friend Taylor Grasso again (we’re not really friends but I wish we were). She makes these things called “power packed snacks”, taking things from 2-4 of the above categories to make a full and satisfying snack.

First, pick your base. My mindset it always focus on what you’re trying to fulfill. Do you want to add some more protein to your day without another protein shake or chicken breast? Check out the proteins that make a good base, like greek yogurt. Add in some color with cherries or pomegranate seeds. Sprinkle with some chopped walnuts for added omega-3 fatty acids. Finally, for flavor and crunch, top with granola.

But you’re looking for a savory snack! No problem, let’s start with a carbohydrate base like sweet potato fries. Air fry those puppies and sprinkle on some cheese and bacon bits and throw them back in to melt. Top with pickled jalapeños and a dollop of greek yogurt for loaded sweet potato fries.

Shopping list:

“I only have five minutes!” You say. “Stop making me cook!” Okay, I hear you. I am in this boat most days. Lets keep things simple: rice cake with a smear of peanut butter, a banana sliced up, and a sprinkle of cinnamon. This is a pre-workout snack of mine most mornings. It’s tasty and satisfying. It’s lacking in protein but guess what? Not every meal and snack has to have all four food groups.

Part of a well-balanced life and a good relationship with food is putting less pressure on yourself. Maybe you let yourself get too hungry and ended up mindlessly eating a bag of potato chips. When you’re inevitably hungry an hour later, you can try again for something with a little more staying power. Because guess what? Life is busy and can be unpredictable. Maybe your only available source of food is chips and salsa at a party. To that I would say, “congratulations! you fed yourself! and you got some veggies in the process! Enjoy the rest of the party!”

I hope you take from this post, not the pressure to make meals perfect, but the release of some of the stress of feeding yourself. Make things you enjoy eating. Experiment with new combinations. Share with me what you come up with! I’m always looking for inspiration!

My "Getting It Together in 2024" Survival Guide

Kaitlyn Rose

16 Jan, 2024

It’s January. The reset is real. I personally love New Year’s Resolutions. I love the idea that we can start over, reassess our habits, our lives at the start of each year. The idea that the clock striking midnight on January 1 is suddenly going to reverse-Cinderella you into the perfectly healthy, put-together princess of your dreams is total BS. But, the idea of fresh starts intrigues me.

I’ve used the month thus far to assess my goals and my priorities. I’ve determined that I need to slow down, to incorporate more fun in my life, and to reignite my passions. I have some tools in my belt that have helped me organize my thoughts and keep me going. We’re approaching the point where some may teeter towards giving up and waiting until next December 31 to try again. May this year be different.

Create routines that mean something to YOU

If you don’t care about a 10 step skin care routine, skip it! I happen to love the 5-10 minutes I take each day to massage things into my face that I’m not exactly sure what they do but they make me feel pretty.

Your routine doesn’t need to take an hour. Maybe your routine is simply, “drink my coffee without the distraction of my phone or television”. Maybe it’s “get out of bed with my alarm and brush my teeth”. Maybe it is a little more extensive. I’ve found that the days where I need to be at work early, I feel a bit rushed and not quite as present compared to the days where I have some time to slowly work through my morning routine. This is not something I do everyday, even when I do have the time, but I try to invest some time to each of these activities in the morning on a regular basis.

Get out of bed without an alarm. Typically I wake up at some point between 6:30 – 7:30AM.
Go to the bathroom, brush my teeth, and wash my face. If I’m going to work, I’ll do my skin care routine. If I have time for a morning work-out, I’ll just apply some moisturizer.
Make a high-protein breakfast (usually a smoothie or something with eggs).
Drink my coffee and journal as I eat.
Do the dishes.
Get dressed.

This routine usually takes me about a half hour to forty-five minutes, depending on if I’m making my husband breakfast as well. The days where I can do all of this make me feel put together, make me feel cared for, make me feel like me. Make your morning routine make you feel like you.

My nighttime routine is not nearly as extensive. It typically takes about 10-15 minutes.

Brush my teeth and wash my face, apply moisturizer.
Put on pajamas.
Massage my feet and hands with lotion.
Spray my feet with magnesium oil (this one is new but I’m finding it helps me sleep so soundly).
Read in bed until I fall asleep. (I like reading novels before bed.)

Make Lists!

The exclamation point is for added fun. Lists may not be your idea of fun. I personally love a good list. It probably stems from my lifetime enthusiasm for stationary and other office supplies. As a young child, my mom asked me my favorite store, to which I replied “Office Max” (which came out more as “offith macth” in my adorable 5-year-old lisp). But I digress.

I find lists to help me organize my thoughts and allow me to accomplish the things I’d like to; or, in a different vein, realize that something wasn’t a priority after all. Let me give you an example:

Meal Planning Lists. I am not a meal prepper. I have a hard time forcing myself to eat the same thing day after day. But I like to have a plan for what I’m cooking for the week and what I might like to snack on as well.

I make a loose list of meals I might want for each time of day and I use those to build my grocery list. That way, when I go to the grocery store, I’m not over-buying produce that will sit in my fridge and go bad. I’m also realistic with myself. I make sure to have healthy and not-so-healthy snacks on hand. I have some 20 minute freezer meals as well as some hour long, chopping-until-my-wrist-is-sore kind of meals. I love cooking and find it very therapeutic. However, there are days where work exhausts me and I’d rather have a minimal-prep bag of Trader Joes frozen Mandarin chicken with broccoli and microwave rice and call it a day. (This combo is a staple in my household.)

Other lists I find helpful:

Weekly/monthly/yearly goals
Books to add to my TBR list
Things to be grateful for
Quotes
Projects I’d like to accomplish
Daily “To Do” list

The lists go on and on. (See what I did there?) You can write these down in a journal, on a magnetic pad on your refrigerator, or in an app like Evernote (my list receptacle of choice). Like stepping into an Office Max or creating a board on Pinterest, making lists can give you the illusion of being productive. If you’re like me, the need to be productive is strong. You never need permission to rest, but adding something like “spend an hour reading in bed” or “watch the new episode of my favorite show” to your daily “to do” list, you may trick yourself into scheduling in a bit of me time into each day, too!

Climb the bean stalk one inch at a time

The biggest trap of the new year is trying to change everything, everywhere, all at once. It’s not going to happen. An “all or nothing” mindset is set up to fail. Why not meet in the middle with “somethings”? Pick one to three things you’d like to work on and focus soley on those for now. Once they become habit, then move on to the more ambitious goals.

The biggest this example I can think of is the idea that health habits can go from non-existent to extremely rigid and difficult on a dime. The power of a fresh start can only take us so far. How do we combat this? Take it inch by inch, bite by bite.

Example: Your goal is to work out more but you’ve never had a consistent workout routine. Make a bite-sized goal of walking for 10 minutes every day or doing 5 jumping jacks every time you use the restroom. In Atomic Habits by James Clear, he presents an anecdote about a man who wanted to create a regular gym routine. He started by going to the gym for 5 minutes each day. That’s it. You might be thinking – how can I see any progress with only 5 minutes a day? Well, to that I would ask, what does progress mean to you? Does it mean building a practice that becomes a habit over time? Soon, that five minutes at the gym or 10 minute walk may turn into a 15 minute weight training routine or walk around your neighborhood. Building the habit is always the first step to consistency.

Goal: Write a novel. // Bite-size habit: Write 100 words per day.

Goal: Drink more water // Bite-size habit: Drink a glass of water when you wake up each morning.

Goal: Eat healthier // Bite-size habit: Add a vegetable to one meal per day

You get the gist. From that loftly list of goals you made, how can you take the first bite? And how can you make that bite more enticing? Add flavor! Make your favorite hot beverage when you sit down to write. Walk to the coffee shop every morning instead of driving. Flavor your water with juice or electrolyte powder. Make it easy and make it satisfying! (More on this in Atomic Habits by James Clear).

Take the “L”

What does just about every “failed” New Year’s Resolution have in common? The first sign of failure is taken as a loss. Why not take the “L”? And by that I mean decide to LEARN from the information! Are your goals well-defined? What is the “why” behind them? Is it something you truly want, or are you jumping on a band-wagon?

If on day 8 of Dry January, you add a shot of vodka to your mocktail, you don’t need to decide that the streak is over so you might as well go back to your old drinking habits. Why did you decide to do Dry January in the first place?

I was in this boat just last night. I caved and had a drink while out to dinner. I scolded myself before I even took the first sip. I failed. I told my husband as such and he reassured me, asking me why I wanted to do Dry January in the first place. To which I replied, “to drink less”. Even though I decided to have a drink last night, that doesn’t take away from the two weeks I didn’t have a drink. And when I did inevitably finish that drink, I wasn’t even remotely tempted to have another. I realized that the club soda with pineapple and cranberry juice tasted far better without the booze. I realized that my sustaining from alcohol with purpose has had far more of an effect on my desire to drink it than I might have realized. So if I end the month having had 3 or 4 drinks throughout the course of it, I won’t look back and say I failed because my why was to drink less. Three to four drinks in a month is a drop in the bucket compared to the four to five I would tend to have on a single night out. I’m taking the L and learning that what I’m doing matters because I’m growing from it. The road to success has some potholes, but I’ll still make it to my final desitination.

Self-Help Book

I remember a time when these were so taboo. On TV, the woman reading one in a waiting room was portrayed as crazy or “a mess”. But we’re all a mess. We’re all trying to figure out this thing called life. And what a better way to feel less alone in this world than to read about how other people got out of the same, or similar, holes that we feel trapped in. Here are a couple self-help books I’ve ready/am currently reading that makes me feel like I have a better hold on my life and my goals:

100 Ways to Change Your Life by Liz Moody
Atomic Habits by James Clear
Not Drinking Tonight by Amanda E. White
Body Kindness by Rebecca Stritchfield

Podcasts for Growth

I have gone from listening to podcasts of people making fun of other people and talking about their highly-privileged lives, something I simply could not relate to, to primarily listening to podcast that make me think, make me learn something about myself or the world. Here are some that I find interesting:

The Mel Robbins Podcast
Well-Fed Women
On and Off Your Mat Podcast

Now that’s not to say I don’t enjoy a silly podcast about nothing and everything. “This Might Get Weird” with Mamrie Hart and Grace Helbig has been making me laugh for years. Which brings me to my next point.

Schedule in Fun!

Lets face it, as adults, our calendars fill up so quickly. We have to schedule Girl’s Nights months out to make time for our friends. Birthdays, work events, family dinners: they are all important, but life can sometimes feel like a series of obligations.

Break from the norm. What is something you’ve been wanting to do but haven’t had time for? Schedule it. Even if it’s six months from now. It doesn’t have to be expensive or incredibly time consuming. Spend an hour or two taking an art class. Look at what your town or county parks have available, and pick something that sounds interesting. My husband and I did this on a particularly dreary day in the fall and signed up for an art journalling series as well as a backwoods cooking class!

To this point, these fun events do not have to be something you’re good at. They do not have to progress into something you can make money off. They are simply a way to flip a switch in your brain from the same old, same old.

The best part — you don’t have to be spontaneous to be fun! I can speak first hand that I went from a wild and crazy, drop everything for a random adventure into the city type of young 20-something, to a cozy, stay at home under the covers in my sweatpants on a Friday night kind of woman. I love that about myself. I love that I don’t have to be out partying every weekend to make life worthwhile. But—I got into a place where my life felt like work, family, and house-hold obligations. It was dinner in front of the TV and an early bedtime after cleaning the kitchen. The winter can bring some serious blues. I had to plan in fun if I wanted to make it happen.

To me, fun means things that otherwise wouldn’t occur to me to do in my every day. I’m making a list (yes, another list) of everything fun thing I’ve done this year and when I look back on it next December, I hope I can remember that I lived this year with purpose; and that purpose was to be as silly and fun-loving as possible.

What are your priorities this year? What are your goals? How can you implement more organization, more routine, and more fun into your life? Use these tools as guidelines.

I would love to hear your ideas for how to step up your growth game and make you feel a little bit more like you with each passing year.

3 Self-Care Tips for When You're Sick

Kaitlyn Rose

20 Jul, 2023

Summer colds are the worst, but what makes them even more unbearable is the plans missed, the forced slow down, the days spent in bed when you’d rather be out frolicking in the sun.

I have one such cold. After a few weeks of travel and a lot of time spent in the pool, the sickness finally found me. I’ve been lucky to have avoided illness for about a year and a half and when it struck on the plane ride home from paradise, I immediately felt terrible. Not only physically, but mentally.

I’m used to being busy, being active. I take pride in my consistent workout routine and regular walks to the beach. So while my body was rocked with head congestion and a wicked cough, my mind was plagued with all the things I should be doing, all the things I’d have to “make up for” as I took a forced period of rest.

But life isn’t on a timeline. It can’t always go up, up up. Our bodies aren’t perfect and sometimes you ride the Rapids River one too many times and water gets lodged in your ear and you pay for it with a week and a half in bed. But as I am now on day 7 of sickness, I would like to share a few things that have made me feel just a little bit better.

Comfort Food

Comfort food comes in many forms. Sometimes it’s scrambled eggs and toast. Sometimes it’s the mashed potatoes and mac and cheese you eat every Thanksgiving. Sometimes it’s girl dinner. One key factor in getting over sickness is staying fueled. Of course, we all know the “drink plenty of fluids” line our doctors and mothers always give us, but food plays an important role in getting your strength back as well.

Two such meals fit the bill for me this week. When I think of comfort food, I think of the meals my parents used to make me as a kid. So, in my mental fog, when the last thing I wanted to do was cook, but knew I needed to eat, I reached for a bowl of Honey Nut Cheerios topped with banana slices. It was an unconscious addition of nutrients to my meal. But as I took the first bite, I was brought back to mornings before school as my mom would slice bananas over my cereal. I remember being in awe of how she’d pull the knife through and never cut her thumb. I remember how she’d always eat the ends because she knew I didn’t like them. The sweet taste brought me a moment of true appreciation for my mother, making sure I had a healthy, filling breakfast, while I was oftentimes whining that we couldn’t get the “good cereal” like Cap’n Crunch and Fruit Loops like my cousin had at her house. I cared for myself like my mother would. Not telling myself I should eat something more healthy, not avoiding the meal all together because it would be easier to stay in bed. But gently prodding myself with a touch of nostalgia.

The next meal took a bit more time and care. My father had a few staple meals that he would make for us as kids: meatloaf with ketchup frosting, perfectly over-easy eggs that he would flip without a spatula, and Cream of Wheat. Cream of Wheat with lumps and extra milk and sugar and a side of rye toast with extra butter. So when I woke up three days into feeling sick, needing a way to feel productive, I stood over the stove stirring and dipped my toast into the creamy grains. I have to say, it wasn’t as tasty as Dad used to make, but the effort was there. I felt a little bit better about myself and felt the love that my father showed on Saturday mornings growing up.

Drink Up

Okay, yes, I know I already touched on this, but when you’re pumping yourself with decongestants and the like, drinking enough liquids can really help the recovery process along. Having a big water cup (I use a 40 oz Stanley) on hand is a great reminder to drink so you’re not having to constantly get up and refill.

But, for when you’re really sick of drinking water and are looking for a little bit of flavor, here are some non-water options to try out. (Please note, some of these require a bit of prep, so if you’re not feeling up for it or don’t have a willing loved one to help you out, packaged electrolyte powders and drinks will do wonders).

Frozen Pineapple Spritz

You will need:

1 c Frozen pineapple
1 c Some sort of liquid (I tried it with orange juice, pinapple juice, and jalepeno limeade)
Club soda or setlzer
Optional add ins: frozen strawberries, lime juice, fresh or frozen ginger, a pinch of salt (for added electrolytes), jalepeno juice (can help clear out sinuses)

Add the pineapple and any add ins to a blender. Add in juice until everything is covered (you may need more or less based on the size of the pineapple chunks). Blend until smooth. Pour into a glass (I like using a wine glass to feel fancy. Rim it with Tajin if you’re feeling extra) and top with club soda.

Pineapple has lots of vitamin C and anti-inflammatory properties which can help sooth a sore throat. I also tried this with frozen strawberries and it came out great. (ANOTHER OPTION: Try it with this with less liquid and no club soda for a Slushie/Icee consistency and eat it with a spoon.)

Electrolyte Lemonade

Juice of one lemon (or bottled lemon juice)
Water (or coconut water if you like it)
1/4 tsp of sea salt
Sweetener of choice
Ice

Grab the biggest cup you can find, add in your lemon juice, salt, and sweetener. Mix together and top with water to an inch or two from the top. Add ice (crushed if possible) and enjoy!

Hot Toddy

Tea bag (ginger tea is my favorite)
Lemon juice
Honey (local honey is ideal but use what you have)
Optional add ins: cinnamon stick or turmeric powder (both have anti-inflammatory properties), a shot of whiskey (this is extra optional and probably not medically advised so do with it what you will. Check with your doctor if it interferes with any medicine you’re taking.)

Boil enough water to fill a mug. To your mug, add in the juice of half a lemon (more or less to your taste), a tsp of honey, any add ins (besides the whiskey) and your tea bag. Once water is boiled, stir until the honey dissolves. If you’re going the adult beverage route, wait for it to cool a bit before stirring in your whiskey.

These are just three that have been getting me through my cravings for fruity drinks on the beach as I’m stuck inside. Comment with any other suggestions!

Skip the Guilt

It is OKAY not to be productive when you’re sick. It can feel terrible to lay in bed or on the couch all day. But forcing your body to do more than it’s ready for will slow down your recovery time. So during this time, think of all those days when you had a million things to do when all you wanted to do was catch up on a binge-worthy TV show or read a book that’s gathering dust on your shelf.

I know how disheartening it can be to feel unproductive. Our society ties so much worth to our productive output, not to mentioned the bombardment of the perfectly curated lives shown on social media. I can be especially hard when you start feeling just a little bit better–when the fever, aches, and pains die down and you think you’re ready to return to normal. But then when you can’t perform at maximum capacity, you go back to feeling bad about yourself.

Nobody can perform at maximum capacity 100% of the time. Life happens. Indulge in the simple pleasures you can while your body recovers. The gym will be there when you feel better, the laundry can wait another day or two, meal delivery services exist for a reason.

If you do feel the guilt monster rearing its head, try one of these mantras:

I care for my body with rest.

My worth is not tied to my productivity.

I speak kindly to myself and my body as it heals.

If you have any other tips or binge-worthy TV shows, comment below. I think I’m stuck with thing for a few more days. Happy healing 🙂

Living For the Moment, In the Moment

Kaitlyn Rose

6 Jun, 2023

“Live in the moment”: A phrase we’ve all seen printed on distressed wood at Marshalls and in inspiring Instagram posts. But have you ever considered what it means, really?

Until recently, I considered it a mantra I only ever considered in the confines of my yoga mat. I tell my students every week to “be present” to “focus on the now”. And when I’m taking classes myself, I do my best to embody this practice as well. I listen to my body, I focus on my breath, I am able to take myself out of the 23 hours surrounding the time spent in my practice. But then I step off the mat and my brain is flooded with “what’s next?”

I’m not going to belittle the hour of mindfulness that yoga gives me. I wouldn’t be practicing and teaching if I didn’t see the benefits outside of the classroom. But so much of my time is spent on thinking of what I did earlier in the day or what I have to do later that I miss out on experiences as they happen.

But in the last week, I’ve had a couple of experiences of pure light that really made me think about how I consider my life in my mind. The first happened as I was walking home from the beach: sun-soaked and sleepy after eating a perfectly-crafted sandwich and reading for an hour with my toes in the sand. A smile crept to my face as I realized that this is real life. I get to live five blocks from the beach; I have time to read; I can feel the warmth of the sun on my face in the middle of the day. I didn’t think of this experience compared to a past version of my life; I didn’t think about how I had to go to work later or what I was going to have for dinner that night. I let myself melt in the glow of my smile and the sacred beauty I was able to experience on a random Tuesday afternoon.

The next happened on Friday. I went to my nieces birthday party, a Girl’s Glow Dance Party in my soon to be sister-in-law’s basement. I had a moment, dancing with my niece Madison, where I felt totally free. I wasn’t worried about what I looked like dancing, I wasn’t worried about what time I was going to leave. I was giggling and singing and for a moment, felt like one of the seven year olds dancing their hearts out without a care in the world.

Oftentimes, the moments in life that mean the most aren’t necessarily the big moments we look back on with nostalgia. Nostalgia is the rose-colored glasses that make everything shiny and perfect. When you can, live for the moments with sand stuck between your toes and temporary tattoos on your skin and the sound of a little girl screaming the lyrics to Shake It Off in a gritty karaoke mic. Because those moments happen way more often than you might think, especially when you’re looking for them.

It can be great to look forward to the big moments in life: the vacations, the life milestones, the things we post on social media. But when you live your life for the future, you might miss out on the wonderful day-to-day, minute-to-minute moments that make up the stuffing of life.

The Five Languages of Self Love (and how to put them into practice)

Kaitlyn Rose

30 Mar, 2023

The five love languages have become a sort of personality test over the last several years. If you don’t know what they are or where they come from, “The Five Love Languages” is a book by Dr. Gary Chapman, written to help people form lasting relationships. The quiz he created for his subjects asks questions based on what would be more meaningful to an individual. Through a series of questions, he links the individual to five categories in varying degrees: physical touch, words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service, and receiving gifts. Most people have a little bit of stake in all of these categories.

I myself fall most heavily into the physical touch category; that is, I link the most meaning through physical closeness to the ones I love. I have high percentages also in words of affirmation and quality time. Though I find this quiz to be a bit bias, as it’s geared toward romantic couples, you can take the findings and apply them to other aspects of your life.

If you’re having a hard day, would your mom coming over and making you dinner ease the pain? Would a hug from your partner make you feel most cared for? Would a listening ear and a few kind words from a close friend make you feel most comforted? What if your mom is out of town? Your partner’s working late? Your friend has kids and other responsibilities and can’t spare the time or emotional effort? The relationships we often look to to ease our discomfort may not always be available. You may find, that the only relationship that is constant, unfailing, is the relationship you have with yourself.

So why not take the results from this quiz on love languages, and apply it to some self-care practices?

We’ll start with the one I’m drawn to most: physical touch.

Physical Touch

Get to know your body. Explore it with tenderness and care.

Somatic Hand Massage (5 minutes)

Put on a nice smelling lotion or some coconut oil with a drop of your favorite essential oil. Take a few minutes and rub it into your hands. Massage out your palms. Get in between each finger.
Put on a timer for one minute. Begin to rub your palms together vigorously. Feel the vibration that the friction causes.
Place your palms on your face. Breathe in the scent of the lotion or oils. Feel the warmth against your face. Take five (or more) deep breaths in through the nose and out through the nose.

Self-massage (15-30 minutes, or as long as you’d like)

Keep a bottle of lotion or body oil by your side. (This can be done in soft clothing without lotion as well, if you’d prefer.)
Massage each hand — fingers, palms wrists.
Move up the arms, massaging the shoulders, and the neck. Behind the ears. Explore the nape of the neck by the hairline.
Massage the scalp.
Move to the feet. Massage in between the toes, the soles and arches.
Move up the ankles, massage the calves, the backs of the knees, the thighs. Be present in your body and notice where your mind takes you.
Massage your belly and your chest. Say a few kind words to yourself. (I am soft, I am lovely, my touch is a source of love).

Use a weighted blanket or eye mask (however long you’d like)

Use a heated blanket or heating pad

Try EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) aka Tapping (10 minutes)

Tapping is a technique used to alleviate anxiety, reduce cortisol levels in the body, and release stress. By stimulating different acupressure points, tapping can return the body’s energy to balance. Try out the technique with this video.

Words of Affirmation

Repeat affirmations or mantras (1-3 minutes)

Some affirmations you might find helpful:

I am safe.
I am worthy of love.
I chose to be kind to myself.
I honor myself and my life.
I take the time today to treat myself with love and respect.

Sing It Loud or Bust a Move!

Think of a song that always makes you feel like you can take on the world (don’t worry, I’ve created a playlist of some of my favorites). Blast it in the car, in your bedroom, wherever you feel most free and sing it loud and proud. If you don’t like to sing or don’t feel comfortable singing, listen to the music anyway. Embrace the message or the feeling you get from the power of the song. Move your body and don’t be afraid to look silly.

Make a list of 5 things that make you worth loving

Add to it every day, or as often as you need to. Keep it in a note in your phone, in a journal, wherever it’s easy for you to access.

Make a list of 5 things you’re good at

Be your own hype man! You can do things that no one else can. You are cool for reasons you don’t even see because they’re part of your everyday. If you saw yourself from the outside, what would make you go, “wow, what a cool person!”? Write it down! Go back to it when you need a boost and add it it when you learn something new about yourself!

Be your own best friend!
If you’re in need of some love, write down the reasons why. Are you down on yourself for some reason? You had a bad body image day? You made a big mistake at work? You’re anxious about the outcome of an exam or job interview? Write to yourself as if you’re talking to a someone you love. Answer your own criticism with the love and care of a best friend.

Example:

You: I am so ugly and clothes look terrible on me. You (as your best friend): That’s really mean. You look beautiful, let’s find something comfy and watch a movie.
You: I can’t believe I messed up that presentation so bad. They should fire me, I’m so incompetent. BFF You: You got up and made a presentation. That takes a lot of guts. Everyone has off days. Take a rest today and if you feel like you need to make up for it, follow up with an email tomorrow.
You: I’m so awkward, I hate interviewing so much. BFF You: You’re awesome and any job would be lucky to have you. I’m sure interviewers feel awkward too. Meeting new people is awkward sometimes. And maybe that job wasn’t for you. Just remember that interviews are just conversations to find out if you with both benefit from the relationship.

Play around with it. Maybe you’re more of a “screw them, you’re awesome” type of best friend, or maybe you’re more of a realist best friend. But what you’re not is a mean best friend. Because you’re not friends with that person.

Quality Time

Top tip for this one — romanticize your life. Anything can feel like quality time if you’re intentional with your time. Going to the grocery store can feel like a special occasion if you find a new recipe you want to try, buy a bouquet of flowers for your kitchen table, and a bottle of wine to sip as you cook. But in case you want specific date-yourself ideas (besides the grocery store one, because honestly that sounds delightful), here’s a few!

Spa Night!

Light some candles or diffuse some essential oil
Put on a spa music playlist (I got you)
Draw a bath
Pour your favorite beverage or brew a cup of tea
Use a sheet mask or make your own DIY mask
Lotion your body (use some of the massage techniques from Physical Touch)
Paint your finger and toe nails (if that’s your thing)

Take a long walk or hike

Chose a route you don’t normally take
Bring snacks and/or a fruit-infused water
Take photos of anything interesting you see
Spend at least five minutes with no distractions — listen to the sounds of nature and take deep breaths of the fresh air
If you can manage, take the whole time without distraction of music or other audio. Allow your mind to wander. You can discover a lot about yourself and your thought patterns when there’s no other voices in your head but your own.

Go See A Movie

I’m a huge proponent of solo movie dates. Get the big popcorn and soda (but beware of having to get up to pee. Movies are really long these days.) Wear something comfy.

Find something new in your city (or a nearby town)

Sit in a coffee shop, visit a boutique you’ve never been in. Strike up a conversation with a stranger if you find comfort in social interaction.

Acts of Service

Be Intentional. Like with Quality time, something can feel like an act of service over a necessity when it’s done with intention. Cleaning and cooking may seem like chores but if you think of it as keeping a tidy home to make your living space less chaotic and fueling your body with nourishing meals you made with care, it feels more like an act of love. That being said, where your means allow, it’s never a sin to take shortcuts!

Declutter your closet

Clear your closet of things you no longer use or wear anymore. Remove pieces that don’t fit and donate them (or put them out of sight if you’re attached to them).

Clean one room in your house

Make it somewhere you can be cozy – your bedroom or the living room. Vacuum, dust, fluff the pillows. Wash the sheets and make the bed. Then allow yourself to live in the space. Curl up with a good book or throw on a favorite movie. Appreciate the space you’ve created for yourself.

Bring your car to the car wash!

Throw out all your trash, take in the empty travel mugs you’ve forgotten were under the passenger’s seat, vacuum the floor mats (usually car washes have industrial vacuums you can use, or pay a little extra and they’ll do it for you!) You’ll feel better getting in for your morning commute when the dashboard is dust free and the sweatshirt you threw in the back seat in October is stowed in your closet.

Order take out!

DoorDash and GrubHub are popular for a reason. Make Friday Pizza Friday (or sushi Friday, whatever floats your boat).

Use meal prep services or catering for meal prep

I’ve seen people on TikTok ordering catering from places like Panera or Chipotle and using it instead of meal prepping at home for the week. Save yourself time shredding a rotisserie chicken and eat the pre-made burrito bowl this week!

Receiving Gifts

We’ve all heard the old adage “it’s the thought that counts”. Well consider this when buying gifts for yourself. It can be hard, sometimes, to consider ourselves worthy of gifts when it’s not a special occasion. But little trinkets and gifts can mean the difference between a mundane day and a notable one. You work hard for the money you make and it’s okay to “treat yo self”.

Listen to Miley, buy yourself flowers.

Grocery store bouquets are usually pretty inexpensive and well designed. Trader Joe’s flower section has mini bouquets for less than $5! Take advantage and add some color to your gray day!

Drink up!

Maybe it’s not just the caffeine from your iced coffee that puts the pep in your step. Maybe it’s the ritual of buying yourself a little something to brighten your morning.

Make a wish list

When you see things in your social media feed that you really love but can’t justify buying for yourself right now, make a wish list. Save the link and come back to it when the paycheck comes in or when you really need a pick me up. If you’re feeling great now and so is your bank account, order the thing and put it away when it comes in the mail. Take it out and enjoy when a special something would lift your spirits.

Whatever your love language, you are reminding yourself that you are worthy of love through these acts. you are getting to know yourself better and how you can best take care for yourself. Being loved by others is such a gift and teaching someone how to love you is a skill that can be honed. Learning how to love yourself can help with this. But loving yourself is a cliche because it’s true. You are the longest relationship you’re ever going to be in. So find out what makes you feel special, feel valued, feel loved, and run with it.